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To all my sisters in the wilderness, I speak a word for you: the SON will SHINE for you.
Before beginning the journal portion of this course, I had come out of a very dark time in my life. Through it all, God showed me there is no darkness He cannot invade and shine into if we open the curtain of our heart and look beyond our faults to see His power. When you have much fault, the enemy wants you to feel enveloped in darkness – abandoned and alone. He will stir up whoever can be bribed to add insult to your injury.
When you think you are standing on your own in the face of that Goliath without even the sight of day – that is when the enemy will assume your demise. However, the presence of God destroys darkness. He is a lamp to the feet, a light to the path, and an ever-present help in trouble. My Daddy told me, that our Ancestors said, “You are never alone. You have never been alone. And you can never be alone.” When you remember that God will never leave you alone, you start to wake up to the mystery. That dark glass gets clear.
You understand that the work of the enemy is just an illusion. He will offer you a diamond but will not have it appraised because he knows his treasure is a facade. However, the true God says, “prove me.” “Prove me now and see…” (Malachi 3:10). The enemy has a smoke screen and a flash of what could be if you fall; but God knows your future. God has a lighthouse and a living Word. He is a tower of refuge to all who seek after Him. He can reach into your darkness and bring you out of depression, out of the sick room, out of debt, and out of trouble.
I have been there where depression hurts. I have had everything stolen but the soles on my feet. I have seen people go to great lengths to make me feel gnat-feet tall. I have been lost in a world of tribulation; and it was mostly my fault. However, in the midst of tears, I still lift my eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. Thus, while you may be wise beyond the pages of this journal – written by inspiration, but through a broken vessel and that is okay. Because God knows there is somebody who will say, “I surrender all” and “Take me to the King.”
Now, let me be clear: you will get something fit for edification from this journal, even if you skip everything else and just read the Preface, because it is a testimony (and still not the half of it); but I hope you take the rest in faith. You do not have to agree with everything that written here. Honey, use what you can and leave the rest. This is a chronicle of my journey. So the next generation might not forget, that Momma pressed through, and baby you can make it.
I challenge you to write your own story. However, if I can spare you or anyone a wilderness so full of trouble, I will write until the ink goes dry. If you lose the rest of these pages, remember this: the longest struggle I faced in the wilderness was because I did not have a prayer life. I grew up in church. I knew what to say. I knew how to dress. I was a beautiful mess, before I was just a mess. However, before that, I met the King.
I am not making light of it. I am just letting you know that it is easier than you think, when you break your connection with God, to see something that they never said in the history books – and not the discovery you want to have. Rome could even fall in one day. It could even happen because a girl of seventeen got angry and she got mean, when somebody in the church, stripped her of her pride. However, the last evil of that girl was worse than the fault at the first, till finally she was just like one over the cuckoo’s nest.
One day I heard a voice say, “Your eyes are blind. You cannot see.”
I used to get tongue-tied, thinking about who was looking at me. I was in default. I was out of focus like a ship without a sail. Let me tell you, conceit only took me near twenty years to finally pray, “Take me to the King.” If you can get off that bus, GO NOW.
I had to ask God to teach me how to pray again. I had forgotten my own language. I used to write letters to God; but wasting away in the wilderness, my gift was keeping dust on a shelf. I did not even recognize it. I did not know what it was for. I did not know how to use it. I had almost tossed it away with yesterday’s news. One day – and that not long ago, I asked, “God, is there a difference between a prayer in word and a prayer in written word (so long as the hearts are sincerely equal)? But one day, (Hallelujah), God let me get a glimpse of my first love – and His name is Jesus. He reminded me, that He prayed for me one day – and I was not even there. I could not hear His voice as He plead my case to the Father. But he left me a little note about it. He made sure I got the message. That book is the number one bestseller, of all time. Every time I read it, keeps on being new. It seems like every year, there is another translation. I have never seen it without this: “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.”
What was my purpose – that Jesus himself did not want my faith to fail. What kind of God would have mercy on a wretch like me? He must know something that I do not know; maybe you do not know.
I could write a book in forty days; fill a page in a moment, but I did not understand how to get a prayer through. I knew that God heard me when I stammered in His presence. I did not even recognize that He spoke my language. He prepared me a book from the foundation of the world. In the beginning, was the Word! In addition, the Word was God. I had been in His presence, since before I could read, and I had been reading that book for three decades, an apprentice all the time. How in the world did I miss the mark? He had said more than once, write it on tables, and make it plain.
You plus God equals enough (that was for you, Uncle Z) but my gift without the giver was just a box up on the shelf. I had shirked from the battle. I was not ready to fight. All the time, I was never meant to do the fighting, because the battle is the Lord’s. I let fear swallow up a whole lot of faith, more than a measure, just because I had walked out on my best friend – the one who loved me first.
David had a sling and stones, but he was no less a giant slayer. I had a pen mightier than a sword, but I could not even spell prayer. Well, it took me a while, but I finally got the message: and I said all that to say this. Use what God gave you. Do not let anything keep you from the King. Overcome the struggle and get on with the praise, cause after you learn to speak the language that God gave you first, He just might give you another one. Oh, yes He can!
Who Should Use This Journal?
Shine: A Woman of Purpose and Shine: A Purpose Journal are for women who are starting out, standing tall, or starting over with God. Consecration is not a one-time thing that you finish. Whether you have rebound to or just met Jesus, you can begin a habit of consecration. If you have been walking with the Lord faithfully, there are also few better ways to take your faith and His glory another level. One of the wonders of God is that He is infinite. Knowing Him is a gift that keeps on giving, never gets old, and always has another treasure to unfold. This journal will take you on a personal journey to the King.